Sweeney Todd In the 21st Century
by Joker with the Green Scarf
Summary: Toby makes a time machine and Mrs Lovett, Sweeney Todd, and Toby get sucked into it and appear in my backyard. What will they do in the present time?
1. Time traveling and the Mall

Toby was in his room one day, inventing some things. So far, he's invented a toaster, a microwave, an electric oven, and now he was working on another invention. Something BIG.

Sweeney came into Toby's room, to tell him that dinner's ready, but instead, he got sucked into a time machine. Toby quickly jumped in after Mr Todd. Then, Mrs Lovett came into the room.

"Boys? Boys? Dinner's re- AHHH!!!!" She got sucked into the time machine too.

_***~In the 21**__**st**__** century~***_

Sweeney landed on his butt on the hard ground. "OW!!!" he yelled. Toby came up to Sweeney. "Mr Todd! Are you ok?" "WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE, BOY??" Toby didn't answer.

A few minutes later, Mrs Lovett came crashing onto Toby, suffocating him.

"Oh great, just what I need. The baby roach and the mother roach." Sweeney mumbled to himself.

"What was that, love?" Mrs Lovett asked.

"Nothing… nothing…"

Then, I, a girl with purple hair whose name is Emerald, stopped and looked at them. I nearly dropped my phone, which I was using as an MP3 player. "OH. MY. GOD."

I quickly took a tree branch and knocked them out.

**A/N: They landed in Emerald's backyard.**

I quickly brought them into my room and locked the door. My family went to Wal-Mart which would take about 4 hours so I could do whatever I want. 40 minutes later, they woke up.

"W-where am I??" Sweeney asked, sitting up. "OW! I feel like I've just been hit in the head with a tree branch." He rubbed his head as he looked at me.

"Hee hee…." I nervously laughed and threw the branch into my closet and closed the door. Mrs Lovett and Toby woke up too. I cleared my throat and they all looked at me. "Greetings, I am from the 21st century. You are from the 19th century. Would you like me to show you what the future's like?"

They were all too busy looking and playing with my stuff. Mrs Lovett examined the books on my shelf, Sweeney was studying my posters, and Toby was carefully watching my fish.

When Sweeney got to my Joker poster, he screamed out and hid under my bed. Then, he screamed even louder because of the items under there. He quickly sat in the corner and started crying. He pointed to my poster and yelled, "THAT THING IS FUCKING SCARY!!!"

Toby slowly put his fingers in the fish bowl and got bitten by my fish, Hippie Zombie. "OW!!!" He quickly removed his fingers from the water and started sucking them, and then he pulled a disgusted face and threw up on my floor.

Then, Mrs Lovett looked at my movies and picked one up that said, "Sweeney Todd" She gasped and everyone went to her. Everyone gasped except for me.

"Mr T! They found out about our secret!" She screamed as she read the summary. "AND they took pictures of us without us knowing!"

"Um…. You guys are movie characters. Not real. Fake. Imaginary." I said, calmly and slowly.

"If we're 'fake' and 'imaginary', then how are we here right now?" Sweeney smirked. I squealed and hugged him. "OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! SWEENEY SMIRKED!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sweeney had a disgusted face on and he pushed me off.

"Come on, guys! I want to show you what it's like being in the 21st century!!!"

I quickly put on my boots and led them out the door. I pushed Toby and Mrs Lovett in the backseat while Sweeney was sitting up front. They all were scared.

"Don't worry guys! This is just like a carriage!" I assured them. I helped them with their seatbelts and I put mine on. I drove recklessly to the mall. They were so fucking scared! Toby's face turned a dark shade of green, Mrs Lovett was hanging onto her seatbelt, and Sweeney Todd was curling up in a ball, crying. We finally arrived to the mall without being pulled over and I took them out of the car, and walked them into the mall.

Before we got into the mall, Toby stopped at a random car and yelled to it, "THIS IS FOR MAKING ME ALMOST THROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!" He kicked the car and its alarm went off. I became wide-eyed and said, "RUN INTO THE MALL!!!!!!!!!!!!" We all ran into the mall and walked around. We came across a map and Sweeney saw something that caught his eye. Hot Topic. "I WANT TO GO IN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He pointed at Hot Topic.

We went into Hot Topic and Sweeney's face beamed as he heard the music and looked at all of the emo stuff. He went over to the Twilight section and picked up a Twilight book. "This seems interesting!" He said. He ran to the back of the room. Sweeney grabbed a box of black hair dye, eyeliner, a band shirt, and some skinny jeans. He paid for them and he told us to wait here while he went into the bathroom to change. 30 minutes later, he came out with straightened all black hair, darker eyes, a 3DG band shirt, and skinny jeans. "I've always had the emo attitude. Now that I have the emo look, I AM NOW OFFICIALLY EMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He did a little victory dance, shaking his ass wildly at Mrs Lovett. Then, he stopped and sulked. "Oh yeah, I forgot. I'm an emo kid." He took out a razor and started cutting himself. As he was cutting himself, he followed us as we roamed the mall some more.


	2. Downtown and Gangsters

**A/N: Thank you my loyal reviewer, SweetySweeney, *gives you a Sweeney Todd razor***

As we were walking around, people were staring at us like we were from a different planet. I glared back at them, but they kept staring. I sighed and said, "Guys, sit on that bench." They sat on it and looked at me confusingly.

"We need to get Mrs Lovett and Toby a makeover or people might recognize you from the movie and glomp you out of random fangirl/boyness."

"What does that mean?" Toby asked.

"It means that random people who are fans of you will probably suffocate you to death by hugging and kissing you. Kind of like when I squealed and hugged Sweeney earlier, but far more worst."

They went wide-eyed and yelled, "WE NEED A MAKEOVER!!!"

I led Mrs Lovett into Charlotte Russe and Toby was following while Sweeney was outside of the store, fiddling with the cuts on his wrist. Mrs Lovett only wanted to try on fishnets, tube tops that showed a lot of chest, and miniskirts. I rolled my eyes and she tried them on while I went and found her the ugliest shirt, a Twilight t-shirt with Edward's ugly face all over it and some ripped jeans. She tried them on and we bought the clothes. She went into the bathroom and came out. Sweeney had just finished the first chapter of Twilight and he was already tearing it up, crying.

"THIS BOOK IS TERRIBLE!!!! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME IT WAS EVIL?!?!?!?" Sweeney whined to me as I started laughing. "Because, I wanted to see the expression on your face when you read it!"

He gave me a stare and threw the book behind his shoulder. It hit a police officer and he came charging after us. "RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I yelled as I grabbed Sweeney's and Mrs Lovett's hands and ran off (Mrs Lovett was holding onto Toby). When we got outside, I stuffed them into the car and took off the license plate. I hoped into the front seat and drove like a maniac. I drove all the way downtown and we stopped. We got out of the car and Toby was grinning at the pictures of Barack Obama everywhere. He ran into a store and bought an Obama '08 pin and an Obama t-shirt with MY money! Oh well, I'm a fan of Obama too 

I also bought Toby Obama's book, The Audacity of Hope. He was smiling and was already reading the book faster than you can say 'meat pies'. We walked down the streets and Mrs Lovett dragged us into a music store where they were playing Soulja Boy. She gasped and said,

"Where is that music coming from?! And what does 'crank dat soulja boy' mean??"

"It's coming from the speakers and I have no clue what 'crank dat soulja boy' means, but I love this song!"

I saw a Soulja Boy dance contest right outside of the store and I smirked. "Come on, guys!"

I went to where the other dancers were and started doing the soulja boy. When the song was over, Pirelli somehow appeared out of the sky and landed on the ground. He looked up and was startled like a scared puppy. "W-where am I?? GAHH!! TOBY!!! You leave-a me for this-a woman?!"

"I NEVER LOVED YOU, PIRELLI!!! AND I ONLY SEE HER AS ME MUM!!!" Toby replied, clinging onto Mrs Lovett. Pirelli grumbled something and then went inside the music store.

"Let's wait for him." I said as I sat down on a bench. They just shrugged and sat down beside me. 30 minutes later, Pirelli came out with grills, baggy pants, and a huge t-shirt on. "Yo yo yo dawg. What up my homies??"

"Pirelli… what the hell happened to you? Lil Wayne threw up on you?"

"No. I heard some of Lil Wayne's, Flo Rida's, Soulja Boy's, and Eminem's music and they were da SHIZZZ!!"

"Pirelli… you scare me now." I said as I was clinging onto Sweeney. Sweeney just grumbled and patted my head. "Where off to now, my home dawgs?"

"Um… I need to get home before my parents found out I stole their car. I'd be in HUGE trouble. I'm only 13 years old after all…"

"Ok then, let's leave." Sweeney said, getting up.

We all walked to the car.

**A/N: Sorry it's not that funny. I'm in a bad mood right now because I have to go to school tomorrow and I got two reports I have to turn in. PLUS a week's worth of make-up work which includes 4 tests and 5 worksheets ".**


	3. Leaving!

Attention to everyone, I am posting this chapter to every single one of my stories because this is a super important message. Joker with the Green Scarf is going out of business. That's right. I'm deleting this account.

FAQ:

**Q: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHY ARE YOU DELETING YOUR ACCOUNT?**

_A: Because someone hacked the email that I use for EVERYTHING including this account, so I made a new account in fear that the hacker will delete this account. The name is:_

_Engelhaft Albtraum_

_It means "Angelic Nightmare" in German :)_

**Q: Are you going to repost your stories or make new ones and totally leave out your awesome stories?  
**

_A: Yes, I'm going to repost my stories on my new account. They'll all be posted at once so no waiting :P and I'm definitely making new stories!_

**Q: When are you deleting your account?**

_A: I'm going to be deleting it September 20th 2010 on Monday afternoon/night EST so everyone can have a chance to see this chapter/message_

**Q: What colour are your panties?**

_A: Actually, I'm wearing Guitar Hero boxers right now underneath my pants. Not panties._

**Q: What kind of stories do you have coming up?**

_A: I just wrote the first chapter to my newest story. It doesn't fall under a category though, so I'm going to post it on my fictionpress account which has the same name as my new fanfiction account. Engelhaft Albtraum. It's a story about how fucked up I've become due to one person... my true love Angel... and I'm not with him because he doesn't care about me and it's driving me to insanity. Anyways, you'll find out the rest in the story. The name of the story is Hearts Burst Into Fire and it will be posted on September 15th, 2010 on Wednesday._

**Q: Will you be continuing any of the stories you discontinued ?**

_A: Yes, and I can read that =_=;;_

_But, yes, I am going to continue some of the stories I discontinued. It will be a long time before they get out because I have school ontop of chores, a relationship with a guy who I love but I don't love him as much as Angel and I want to be with Angel but I can't, that thing I have to call a dad being home all the time and I'm not allowed to use the computer when he's home, my wifi in the house is fucking up really bad (the router is hooked to my laptop so that's how I'm posting this), and I have a lot of moments where I'm too depressed to write and I'm crying and having panic attacks and cutting myself and drinking my blood. Everyday. Told ya my life was fucked up._

**Q: Why won't your dad let you be on the internet?**

_A: Don't call him my dad or you'll die. His name is Gary and if you call him my dad, I will hunt you down and hang you by your intenstines, spoon out your eyes, shove them up your vagina, and stab the living shit outta you. But anyways, back to the question. Gary won't let me on the computer because when I was 11, I was talking to people I didn't know over the internet. I wasn't giving them any personal information or anything. I didn't even tell them my real name (which is still going to be a mystery to everyone) and Gary grounded me from the internet until I move out of the house =/ I can't even do fucking school work..._

**Q: Are all these questions annoying you?**

_A: Yes. And the panties question just scared me a bit._


End file.
